


and it hurts my heart

by AlexSeanchai (EllieMurasaki)



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: 3 Sentence Fiction, Angst, Gen, Podfic Welcome, Prose Poem, Season/Series 03 Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 21:54:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19118440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllieMurasaki/pseuds/AlexSeanchai
Summary: No one notices how lonely Ladybug is, only how graceful; not how brittle, only how strong. She'll have peace and freedom, at this rate, only when she's buried—but what of her city then?





	and it hurts my heart

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: it's a cold war / you better know what you're fighting for

Hawkmoth preys on hurtful emotions: the petty angry moments, the trifling tears, the paltry jealousies, and the trivial fears—he rarely claims someone whose pain is meaningful, fortunately for everyone else; more than fifty people (if her math is right) die in Paris every day, most of whom are loved and mourned, and some of whom are lost unfairly soon, with no justice ever done—and above all it's the ones hurt because they're cheated whom Hawkmoth takes.

Alya would understand, if Marinette could tell her; so would Nino, and Alix, and it's unutterably disloyal of her to think of sharing this with Rena Rouge and Carapace and the one who isn't even Bunnyx yet before she tells Chat Noir: disloyal, and poor strategy, and _dangerous_ , nor is it Marinette's secret alone—but Wang Fu was thirteen when he took the Miracle Box and fled the Guardians' fallen Temple, thirteen and alone and (she thinks) a poor student beforehand and necessarily obsessed with secrecy and deceit thereafter, exactly as old when Marinette was when she heard Tikki say _you can do this_ and _only you can do this_ —and Tikki doesn't, _can't_ understand from a human perspective, and—

Ladybug cannot grow unjustly angry and must err towards thinking something just, cannot allow her fears or loves to rule her, cannot let even vicious backstabs summon tears: Ladybug must be always steady, sturdy, strong, a savior, so that when Hawkmoth turns human hearts against her city she'll be there to set it right: Ladybug—and this will be what kills her, what leaves her shattered at Chat Noir's feet, her earrings in Hawkmoth's hand—Ladybug cannot falter, she cannot fail, she cannot _feel_.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [Dreamwidth](https://alexseanchai.dreamwidth.org/) and [Tumblr](http://alexseanchai.tumblr.com/).


End file.
